Tuesday, March 18, 2014

My story

I’ve heard and read many comments lately about how "amazing" or "inspiring" my journey has been, or how proud people are of me. I’m going to be real with y’all. My success thus far has been a delicate formula of hard work (including a lot of sweat, tears and Tiger Balm), willpower, the strength of my support system, and my commitment to making myself a better person in every way.

Most people that I know these days have known me for less than a few years, so I think it’s time to share my story. I want to tell you how important it is to be in the right place, at the right time, and in the right mindset, to be successful. Changing your life isn’t an easy task.

(Fair warning: I’m a detail person, so this post will be a little long.)

I wasn’t always a fat kid. I inherited my dad’s sturdy figure, but wasn’t fat. I started playing sports at a young age, starting with tee-ball/softball, tennis and volleyball. During family gatherings, my cousins and I would always play some sort of sprint-based, made-up game (usually called “STAR”), and I never sat in front of a videogame to “spend time” with family. I felt at home on ball fields and gym floors (but I hated gym class). I injured my knee playing sports and stopped playing on teams after my freshman year of high school. Pathetic, I know, and it also caused me to go into depression.

Depressed, I kept eating like an athlete, but my already slow metabolism skidded to a near halt. During the rest of high school, I went from a size 10 to a size 14/16. I later figured out that I am, most definitely, an emotional eater.

I moved away from Michigan for college. I went to Liberty University in small-town Lynchburg, Va., and spent my first two years living on campus and my final two years off campus. Those were the days before eating local, organic, or “clean” were even in our vocabulary. Questionable pierogies? I probably ate them a few times a week. Sonic? A couple times a week. McDonald’s? Rotated on and off with Sonic. Chinese food from the place next to the weird pet store? Once a month. I’m sure you get the point – I ate CRAP. My sophomore and junior years I was on the newspaper staff, where crazy deadlines and socializing led to even more eating. Over the course of four years, I went from a size 14/16 to a size 18. My final semester of college, I met the man who would become my husband (and eventually my ex-husband).

I first joined a nationally-recognized weight loss program in 2009, during my first year of marriage and within six months of my grandmother’s passing. The company brought a consultant to our office for weekly meetings. Due to work obligations, I stopped participating after a few weeks. Over the next four years, I’d join the program about five more times, each time letting life get in the way, or getting frustrated when I’d hit a plateau that I couldn’t overcome.  I learned a lot through that program, but I couldn’t sustain my success over the long term. At my very heaviest, I was a size 24.

My world as I knew it fell apart near the end of 2012, when my marriage hit the fan. Tensions had ben building for quite some time, but we weren’t communicating. Drowning in the “whys,” I turned to my old friends, Oreos, pizza, ice cream and McDonald’s. Though I had been in a size 20/22, I ballooned back up to 24 in no time.

In late January 2013, I was presented with the opportunity for a promotion and relocation to Charlotte through my company. I moved here officially on April 27, 2013, able to count the number of friends I already had here on one hand. I'm a hybrid extrovert and introvert, and became pretty depressed within the first six months after moving when most evenings were spent at home with my dog and cat. I was actively trying to make friends, but it took about six months to really feel accepted. My weight had been fluctuating again, and, depressed because I’d left everything and everyone I’d known over the past 10 years, I ate and went back up to a 24 again.

When I first moved, one of my only friends, especially in the vicinity of the suburb I moved to, was a friend from elementary school who was (and is) dating a CrossFit coach. Over the course of the next few weeks, I met another person at work (let’s call him Hulk Smash) who would eventually become like a brother to me – and was a CrossFit coach. I mentioned this interesting trend to my mom one day, and I’ll never forget her reminding me, “Well, maybe God put them there for a reason.”

I gave CrossFit a chance within my first couple months of living in the area and completed an initial workout. I was so ridiculously sore for the next 4 days that I swore I’d never do CrossFit again. And then, I tried it somewhere else after Hulk Smash’s fiancĂ©e (who since we met, had become a good friend) asked me to do CrossFit 101 with her starting in January 2014. The thing about CrossFit is that it’s all about your mindset. I ended up LOVING it (as you, no doubt, can tell).

Allow me to backtrack a little bit. In December, I went to a new doctor for an annual physical and, because I had become so frustrated by my size, I went fully prepared to talk about bariatric surgery options. I had told myself that I couldn’t do it without drastic medical intervention – and I’ve learned now that those thoughts were limitations placed by myself. My doctor wasn’t even willing to discuss surgery, but challenged me to change the way I ate and focus on eating lots of lean meat/poultry, fish, veggies, fruit, and whole grains, with cheat days on Saturdays. She also put me on a prescription medication for 8 weeks that would help me boost my weight loss.

I followed my doctor’s advice, and between mid-December and mid-February, I lost about 15 pounds. For whatever reason, CrossFit made me realize that I have control over my body, and it’s only me that provides limitations. I began my quest to truly gain control through better health and strength in January, and I’m glad to report I’ve been more successful now than ever. I’m currently a size 18/20 (and almost totally out of 20!) – I have lost about 30 pounds since mid-December 2013. It’s not just the fitness efforts that are making the difference; how I eat makes a huge difference. I feel better than I have in ages now that I’m not eating (or drinking) grains, lactose products, legumes, refined sugars or anything artificial.

All of that being said, that’s only the tip of the iceberg. There are so many more things that I could share, but I’ll save those for personal conversations. I want to share with you the six main things I’ve learned so far through this journey:
  1. You have to be willing to put yourself, and your health, first.
  2. You must have a strong support system in place (see my last post).
  3. I make the choice of what goes into my body and what I do with my body. No one forces cake down your throat against your will (usually).
  4. Progress is progress! Whether you’re marking success by the number of days you’ve gone without a Starbucks beverage, by how much you can lift, or by how long you can run, every step forward is just that – a step forward.
  5. Don't just measure your success by using the scale. Take some measurements and measure yourself on a planned schedule (I'm measuring once a month).
  6. Looking back, I didn’t realize that losing the weight of an unhealthy marriage would mean more success at losing my body weight – until recently. What’s holding you back? 
I found myself when I lost him. First, I lost that 300 pounds. Now, I’m working to lose my 100 and be the strong, capable woman that I’ve always been. (P.S., I’m about 30% of the way there!)

Cheers!

Lauren

(I'm an open book, most of the time, so please feel free to comment with any questions or whatnot.)

^^^Wise words from Hulk Smash - I look at these every day!^^^

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