How to Gain 10 Pounds in Less Than 30 Days

Every word in this post is true and slightly sarcastic (only slightly).

I weighed myself today for the first time in nearly a month and was absolutely devastated to find out that I gained back 10 pounds in less than one month – even while working out three plus days per week (most weeks).

Here’s how I did it:

• Try ZONE for two days, then come down with the stomach flu and never want to eat that quantity of food ever again. Then, weigh yourself and get worried about losing an extra five pounds in five days because the only things you could eat safely were saltines, chicken broth and Gatorade. Once you’re out of the woods, start carb-loading to regain that weight and energy. Sandwiches? Yes. French fries? Of course. Cookies? Eat the whole batch. In three days.
• Let your stress take control. Don’t even think of relieving your work stress by taking care of yourself. Eat whatever the heck you want, how much you want, when you want to eat it. Drink what you want, too!
• Be lazy about breakfast. Pick up quick breakfasts at Chick-Fil-A and Dunkin’ Donuts. Oh, and make sure your breakfast order includes even more carbs than are actually necessary.
• Exhibit A: Chick-Fil-A Chicken Minis Combo with an extra side of hash browns
• Exhibit B: Dunkin’ Donuts Bagel Combo with a double-chocolate donut for dessert
• When working out, don’t expend as much energy as you should. Stay within your comfort zone. And if something comes up to take the place of your workout, it’s probably a better choice, so just do it!
• Mess up your hormones by stopping your contraceptives. You don’t need them to prevent pregnancy at this point, and your weight loss stalled when you started taking them again.
• Lie to yourself, a lot. Those pants aren’t getting tighter (they are). Your boobs aren’t magically growing (it’s not magic, it’s fat). You worked as hard as you could and left it all out on the gym floor (no, you didn’t). It’s not your fault (it is).
• Lie to others, and when they’re trying to help you, take that help as an attack on your competence as a nearly 30-year-old woman who clearly knows everything. Don’t forget to blame everyone but yourself for your lack of progress.
• Get cocky and lose sight of your goal.  Get comfortable. Be proud of those PRs and don’t consider the fact that less work, less often means that you’ll lose those PRs faster than Grace (a quick WOD of 30 clean & jerks, my favorite lift). You’re fine! I promise.

Folks, I got waaaaaaay off the journey between September and October. And it’s time to get serious again and get back on the right path. That’s why I am committed to completing a real-deal Whole30 starting tomorrow – October 28 – and concluding with Thanksgiving dinner. Readers, please help me. Learn from my experience. I can’t be trusted to do this alone.

The "F" Words: Frustration, Fear and Food

I can’t believe that summer will end officially in less than a week. I know most people bid adieu around Labor Day, but I’m a die-hard “real Autumn” fan (September 23, baby!). I’m also pretty sure I inadvertently took a summer vacation from my blogging…

Over the summer, I only lost about another five pounds, bringing my total lost to 60 pounds and getting me to my pre-wedding weight. After much introspection, I realize I became frustrated, let fear take the steering wheel, and used food to cope with change and reward myself. I sabotaged my own success with four “F” words - frustration, fear and food - and as a result, I still have about 45 pounds to lose to get to where I want to be.

Frustration

So why did I get frustrated? I stopped seeing progress on the scale. Why did I stop seeing progress on the scale? I have many theories about this, but it all comes back to attitude. I had a lot of negative things happen following the last blog post, and struggled to see the positives. I let my negative attitude take over everything – including my commitment to health and strength. I felt very alone, even though I was supposed to be part of the CrossFit community. I also let myself be so severely affected by some changes to my routine that I just let things spin out of control.

When I was about to re-commit to CrossFit 4-5 times a week, I had a night out on the town with friends during which my lack of coordination reared its ugly head as I exited the dance floor. Graceful little me fell and sprained my ankle/foot. Based on my last sprain (which had a much cooler CrossFit story) and how that took forever to heal, I made the conscious decision to take at least one week, if not longer, off to allow my ankle/foot to heal. The day before I returned to CrossFit, I was multitasking in the kitchen and forgot a panhandle 10 minutes out of the oven would be hot. I ended up with a second-degree burn in the crease of my palm on my right hand. One injury was frustrating, and a second was doubly so. Especially since I am the only one to blame for both injuries.

Fear

I hit my pre-wedding weight in August, with exactly 60 pounds lost. I finally shifted into a size 16. And I got comfortable. I don’t remember ever being lighter than that weight, or smaller than that size, in what I consider my adult life. I then realized that I had so much more weight left to lose. As I so often do, I started overthinking it, and decided to stay in my little comfort zone at that weight. Fear set in and led to some old bad habits.

It’s time to be real. Change excites some people; I am not one of them. I was terrified of the unknown territory ahead. It’s amazing, yet difficult, to process how quickly your body has changed. Seeing legitimate muscle definition in your arms is both an a-ha moment and an “oh, crap” moment. Feeling the muscles in your legs can have the same effect. And comparing old pictures with current pictures can just send your brain right into overdrive. I see newer pictures and think, “Who is that woman?” Of course, it’s me. But in some ways, I feel my identity has changed. When I changed my name in August, I had to get a new drivers license picture. My last drivers license picture was taken in February. I don’t look the same! Yes, it’s a good thing, but it’s also scary. What will I look like when I lose the rest of the weight? I want to be strong, but will I still look like me?

Food

Ah, my favorite four-letter “F” word. I think I’ve mentioned previously that I struggled with emotional eating. Between the frustration and the fear, I was in a precarious position – and I couldn’t figure out how to eat “paleo” while allowing some non-paleo foods without going crazy. I very literally fed my frustration and fear.

Celebrations mean good eating, right? I think I created opportunities to celebrate so I could “let go” with some license. Labor Day weekend was a crapshoot diet-wise. I celebrated my name change, distracted myself from my divorce and wedding date (same day, evil judge…), kicked off the “unofficial” end of summer with friends, and ate pretty poorly.

Playing with “Blocks”

So, what’s next? Well, I’m getting back on the proverbial wagon on the journey to health and strength. I may not follow a strictly paleo lifestyle, but I have some help from my CrossFit coaches to help rebalance my hormones and blood sugars through a Zone approach (hence the “blocks”). (NOTE: I despise measuring and weighing food. It’s tedious. It’s far too detailed for my taste. But I’m giving it a shot for at least two weeks. Here's hoping for results that make the details worth it!) I’ll be starting that adventure on Saturday. Next week, I’ll be back at CrossFit a minimum of four times a week (and hopefully five times most weeks).

If you’re on a journey of change, too, know this – you can only be successful if you are ready to embrace the change with your whole being – mind, heart, soul and body. I’ve found, for me, it’s necessary to recalibrate on occasion. As unproductive as it may be, sometimes I need to be burnt by the fire and given a chance to rise out of the ashes. It’s a constant journey of renewal, and one that shouldn’t be taken alone.

I’ll close with this thought: “I never said it would be easy. I only said it would be worth it.” – Mae West

What's going on?

As I sit here, I'm eating a few Reese's Pieces (definitely not paleo). It's been quite some time since I posted to Kale & Kettlebells. Sure, I've been busy. But that's just an excuse. On a very real level, I'm feeling lost. I've strayed off the original path of my journey and I'm feeling really lost right now. Here, in this moment, I'm stuck in the weeds and not seeing the forest through the trees.

For the first 6 months of my journey, I was super-motivated. Some would say that I was obsessed (...true) or get annoyed by my enthusiasm. But, I didn't care and so I continued to work hard at reaching my goals. Now, just past the six-month mark, I'm frustrated and a little out of control. I've allowed my willpower and my support system to weaken significantly.

My frustrations
What has there been to be frustrated about, you may ask? I'm frustrated that my weight loss seems to have stagnated, even though I'm sweating more than I have in my entire life, 4-5 days a week. All I want is to get below 200 pounds for the first time since I was probably 18, and my doctor believes I can do it. I just haven't been feeling like I can do it lately.

For a couple weeks, I thought I had hit a plateau, and then I bought a pair of size 16 cropped jeans, which to my surprise, fit. I may not have lost weight, but I certainly slimmed down a little more. Even though a size 16 is an achievement, I'm still frustrated by seeing continued gains in the strength department while the scale stays the same. I'm a results person, and I want to see those results continue at a pretty steady pace!

I've also been feeling extremely lonely over the past few weeks. Don't get me wrong, I have some really great friends and a great CrossFit family. But, I'm divorced and I live alone in a suburb a little farther out from where most of my friends live in the city. I'm hoping that the events of the next couple weeks will help with this. (I'm moving into the city in a couple weeks. Let's hope I'm given more opportunities to see everyone once I live closer. I hope they actually like me and haven't just been tolerating me for these past several months.)

The loneliness has been somewhat self-inflicted. I've been in some financial turmoil recently so I've been feeling like I have to keep to myself and spend most time outside of work and the gym at home because I can't spend any money for "fun" things. I got myself into this mess and I continually feel like I'm being punished by being deprived of social activities. It is KILLING the extrovert within.

A lack of self-control
I started eating my feelings again a couple weeks ago because I didn't know how to deal with the frustration and loneliness. It started innocently enough by trying to reincorporate things into my diet (like cheese, a few grains, corn, etc.), and then advanced into cheat meals here and there and I started feeling deprived of some of the yummy things out there. Now I've gone full-blown crazy with how I'm eating. I'll be the first to admit that Chick-fil-a chicken minis are amazing at breakfast, and that I really love french fries. And don't even get me started on the pulled park nachos that are sold at the ballpark. And, as I mentioned at the start of the post, I'm eating a few Reese's Pieces.

During a conversation with a friend today (whom I respect greatly when it comes to topics of wellness, nutrition, and fitness) about this topic, he flat out told me that my personality seems to require the strict guidelines that a true Paleo lifestyle offers. I don't like tracking things I don't know how to control myself with the freedom - it's so true. 

I admit, I feel worse now that I'm not watching what I'm eating so closely. I am feeling more sluggish and like I've, well, lost it. I feel like I've disappointed others, in addition to disappointing myself.

A call to action
I need your help, readers, friends, and family members. I need your encouragement and love. I need you to help me stay committed to eating well and getting to the gym, even when it's hotter than Haiti in Charlotte. I thank you for reading through my venting and for still liking me even if I complain once in a while and get a little too "real."

(Note: I've been to Haiti. It's very hot and humid.)

JUMP! (For my WOD)

Last week goes down in the book as the week of my first actual CrossFit injuries. On Thursday, I strained something in my shoulder. And on Friday, I fell. Hard.

Since I started CrossFit, I've modified box jumps to step-ups for a couple of reasons. First, I was too heavy to get much more than a few inches off the ground. That's not true anymore, and the second reason was the one that most held me back - fear. I was afraid of getting injured. I knew someone several years ago who gashed her shin from a box jump and ended up with a terrible infection. So, up until this past Friday, I had only done about three actual box jumps in my life, mostly while holding the hand of a coach.

Friday came around, and the workout included the dreaded box jumps. I've been on a streak of attempting to Rx the workouts whenever possible (I'm getting closer), and step-ups weren't an option for scoring the workout. So, I grabbed a 12-inch box and, terrified, stood in front of it for a few seconds as I gaped at far more talented athletes who were jumping atop 30"+ boxes with no problem. At the urging of a friend who was nearly in the same boat besides me (albeit slightly younger and more fearless), I made my first attempt on the 12-inch box, and to my surprise, landed on top without a problem. I did that about three more times before adding an extra two inches using a 25-pound plate. Then, after some hesitation, I jumped on that a couple times. I added another plate and did the same thing - some fear, but no problem. And then I added the third plate. My friend measured the height at 18 inches. With some encouragement from my friend and also my coach, I made the first jump and - TRIUMPH! I came down off the box and readied myself for a second attempt.

And on that second attempt, I bit it. Hard. It all happened so fast - but I felt my left ankle pop. At first, I couldn't put weight on it. After sitting for a couple minutes, I was able to walk it off partially and finish the rest of the workout (without finishing the box jumps).

The soreness nagged through Saturday (which required a forced rest day) and my ankle is still feeling a little strained today. While it is frustrating that I couldn't complete that second 18-inch box jump, I was reminded today as I passed my dog's leash around my back that less than six months ago, I couldn't even pass a medicine ball or kettlebell 360 degrees around my body because it was so BIG. I'm smaller. I'm stronger. And even though the box bit back, I'm going to keep trying box jumps until I'm successful consistently. It ain't over, folks. Here's to starting the week with a clean slate and continuing to press on in my journey to greater health and strength.

Progress update: This week, I weighed myself for the first time in a couple weeks, and found that I've now lost 54 pounds since mid-December and 38 pounds since starting to follow a mostly Paleo lifestyle in February in conjunction with CrossFit. Once again, my clothes are getting too big…

Also, bonus points (+++) to those of you who understood my Pointer Sisters wordplay in the title of this post. I'm a nerd who grew up to the sounds of Motown, classic rock, and R&B.

Guest post: Elijah's story - "Dukan do it!"

Today, I'm excited to introduce y'all to one of the friends I've known the longest (and stayed close in touch with) - Elijah. I've known Lije since I was 10 years old, and we've been friends since I was about 14. We kind of "grew up" together at church camp around euchre tables and campfires, and now he has a story to share with you about his recent weight loss success. I'm so proud of him for undergoing this transformation and lifestyle change, and am so thankful for the support he's given throughout my transformation. Note, he didn't use Paleo or CrossFit, but it's a good story nonetheless. :) 

I never thought I was big. I thought I was a "healthy" weight. Sure, I never exercised or watched what I ate, but it didn't matter to me, everything seemed to be going well. I had assumed I was still about 230 pounds, as my ID said, but, as it turned out I was off by about 15 pounds (coincidentally, this is how much my dog weighs).

Upon this revelation, and through talking with Lauren, a friend I have known for over half my life, I came to the conclusion that something had to be done. Did I have a clue what this something was?  Nope, but she gave me a good, baby-step idea, change my coffee shop beverage of choice.  For years I drank white chocolate mochas as my sole drink at such places. It wasn't because I didn't like the taste of coffee and needed something insanely sweet to  deal with it, but merely because they were very tasty, and I like white chocolate. So, taking her advice I switched from my 550+ calorie drink, which I had on average 4 times a week, to a sensible cappuccino, which weighed in at a much more reasonable 160 calories. This initial switch, after a couple months, seemed to net me a loss of about 10 pounds! Woohoo! Go me!! Then the holidays happened, and BOOM! Back on they went.

Fast forward to February. My father, who was and still is, heavier than I started a diet on the recommendation of a couple clients of his. He started the day after the Super Bowl, and a week later he had lost 15 pounds! I was floored and excited by his progress! So, I decided I would give the thing a shot too. The diet we both embarked upon, and are still on, is the Dukan diet. The diet starts with what it refers to as the Attack Phase this phase of the diet allows you to eat as much as you want, but the only things allowed are lean protein and nonfat dairy, and 1 1/2 tablespoons of oat bran (for your bowels). Throughout the diet you are to consume no less than 1 1/2 quarts of water a day, which is incredibly easy! During this phase you are also required to have a brisk 20 minute walk a day, whatever pace is brisk for you.  I was on this phase for 5 days (Dr. Dukan recommends 2-10 days) and lost roughly 10 pounds.  After the first couple days I didn't have any sort of afternoon "crash' and generally felt a lot better about myself!

The next phase of the diet is where I lost the bulk of my, well, bulk! This is referred to as the Cruise Phase. During this phase I alternated one day of pure protein, and one day of protein plus veggies, again, I could consume as much as my stomach desired! I did cheat here and there throughout this phase, but after I cheated I spend the next 2-3 days with pure protein, skipping a veggie day. I finally hit my goal on may 17th, in roughly 13 weeks I managed to lose 45 pounds! The race is not yet run though. I now have to prevent myself from yo-yoing back up to what I previously weighed and the temptation to just eat whatever I want again is great!

The Dukan Diet has a third phase to help here and it requires a person proceed with this phase for 5 days for every pound lost, which for me is 220 days. I will have this phase finished right around December 3. During this phase I am required 1 day a week of pure protein, veggies are allowed every other day of the week now, I am allowed an amount of cheese and a serving of fruit a day now, and even some bread, a starch based meal, and a celebration meal consisting of appetizer, dinner, dessert, and wine! 

Looking at a comparison picture, I hardly look like the same man I was three months ago! I feel amazing, I have more stamina, and I am happier with myself over all! Today, I am the lightest I have been since I graduated High School. It's pretty amazing what can happen when you put forth the effort and willpower.

 Left - Elijah in December 2013; Right - Elijah in May 2014

Left - Elijah in February 2014; Right - Elijah in May 2014

Elijah and me, 2000

Sweat, six-packs and sports bras, oh my!

Sweat

Lord have mercy – if the gym gets much hotter than it is already, it’s going to be a LONG summer of losing water weight. I’m starting to consider purchasing actual sweatbands a la 1986. In this moment, I wish my cat would stop trying to clean my sweaty hair (disgusting). I also wish I had a six-pack already so I could just work out in a sports bra and booty shorts. More on that to follow…

Six-packs and sports bras

This week, as many of you may have seen on Facebook, I decided to share comparison photos of me on February 24 vs. me on May 27 – just over three months later, after following a Paleo-based diet (most of the time) and working out 4-5 times a week at CrossFit. The response has been overwhelming. I didn’t expect to receive even a quarter of the comments or “likes” that I did, considering no one really wants to look at a fat woman in her sports bra and workout shorts…twice. But, once again, I am so humbled by and grateful for the support of my friends and family. And now I’m sharing this photo with you. (Drumroll…) Ladies and gents, I share with you the difference that 35 lbs. makes. It’s not about the numbers alone. It’s about how I feel – happier, more confident, and ready to take on anything.

When I get discouraged, I rest in the fact that under that (still relatively thick) layer of fat on my abdomen is a six-pack, waiting to make its debut. I found it a couple weeks ago when I was laying on my bed, talking to my mom. It’s definitely in there…and now I’m taking bets on when it will be visible to the rest of the world. Anyone? (I’m hoping by next summer. I don’t think I can stand wearing shirts in the gym for another summer. I’m ready to shift to sports bras whenever my body will allow!)

Speaking of sports bras…funny story.

Last week, I spent time in Scottsdale, Arizona, for a work-related conference.  I packed workout clothes, thinking I would have enough time (and hydration) to fit in a WOD at a local affiliate, but didn’t get a chance to use them. When I returned to CFE the day after flying home, I went into the restroom to change and, after stripping down, realized (as I dug frantically through my gym bag) that I forgot to pack my sports bra. This also happened to be the night of a first (and last) date, so there was no time to spare to run to Old Navy for a new one. Feeling defeated, I put my work clothes back on and walked out of the restroom.

Before  I got halfway to the door, one of the coaches asked where I was going. I’m not very discreet, so I just told him what happened and said there was no way I was going to work out in my cheetah-print pushup. He reminded me that I could probably do the sumo deadlifts, and then offered to make me my own WOD for the day so I wouldn’t have to miss another workout (that would have been 6 days off). He followed through, and instead of the grueling, bouncy WOD that included pull-ups, toes-to-bars, and burpees. My workout was 2 minutes Airdyne, then 1 minute of modified toes-to-bars for 10 minutes. I’m very appreciative that he took the time to do that for me, even if my cheetah-print bra straps were hanging out all over the place.

Based on the feedback that I’ve been hearing, and on a “gut feeling,” I’m starting to wonder if this transformation is leading me to a new calling. I’m not sure what it might be, but my experiences over the past year and half with divorce, extensive change, and transformation may help me help others.

My story, courtesy of CrossFit Eternal

A couple of months ago, the co-owner of my CrossFit affiliate approached me about sharing my story on video with the rest of the world. I obliged (in all honesty, it doesn't take much to get me into the spotlight...I'm a bit of a ham sometimes), and the video was posted today.

Click here to visit the CrossFit Eternal website to see my story. Disclaimer: Most of the video was shot a couple months ago when I was a little bigger than I am today, and I'm fresh out of a WOD so I look oh-so-sexy with flushed cheeks, awesome hair, and zero makeup. :)

If you happen to live or visit the Charlotte area and want to see what CrossFit is all about, I encourage you to check out our box!